Painting Bliss

Journal Excerpt - Growth, Fear, and Manning Up

 

A Day, A Month, This year 2013

 

 

    Each year a bird either deconstructs their previous years nest, or they create a whole new grassy abode. They know just what to do and how to do it. Creative little nesters!

It's a good and healthy practice to regularly re-evaluate your life and the place where you live. To ask yourself, am I still content? Do I feel the need for change? Are we still here or do we see bigger opportunities just past the treetops?

There are other questions as well. Like, Do I prevent greatness by coddling my own personal fears? Fear, in my book should be considered a disease. Something to be diagnosed, treated, and hence forth rehabilitated. It shreds your insides to pieces. Fear brings with it so many other symptoms, it's just the first domino to a whole mess of dominoes that slam down upon each other.

It's okay to be vulnerable (when your safe), it is when we let down our guard that goodness seeps in. Like the water that splits stone, it pushes all the bad out of the way - only leaving room for the right things you need (and personally choose) to put into your life. Sometimes holding onto things can only increase the fear discussed above.

It's a cycle, break it.

~ NOW ~

I ask... why tread lightly where tiptoeing begs to be heavy foot falls? Why stand alone, when you can hold onto another? Why linger in doubt, when you can linger in living life out loud?

Live LOUD - Split the stone - BE the water (dammit)

_________________________________________________

I have been casting out fear for about a month now. Choosing to return to my past personal motto of "No one said I can't, so I will"... and that is because I am capable of ANYTHING, and so are you! Somewhere, somehow I lost myself. Cast out good people, good things, and let the negative in (lots of it, cause negative brings friends). We all do it... I'm not afraid to admit to you today that I am guilty of such things.

That's right, little miss sunshine once in awhile sticks her head up her ass!

 

 

So I stand here, a creature of the sun - arms cast outward in full surrender. I invited myself back to the party, and holy shit I showed up! Not only did I show up, but I was (and am) the coolest person at the festivities! Anyone bring refreshments? This post has me thirsty!

All jokes aside though...

I'm performing a personal exorcism, and I'm not afraid. I go forth chest puffed out like a robin at dawn. I claim what is mine, who is mine, and march like a soldier manning up for war. I take ownership of things I have done, the person I have been, and the person I am striving to be.

I know where I BELONG. I know where I want to BE. I know who I am meant to be WITH.

Do you?

Have you evaluated lately?

 

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Chives and Bees

 

 

 

Chives and Bees

 

The wind blows as if we live near the sea -

yet we do not.

The trees with their green cardigans and brown courdoroys -

sound like sighs and hushes.

It is morning, the street sleeps-

Or atleast it seems that way from our hive.

 

No one here knows that I am closed eyes, arms spread -

surrendering to the beauty of morning.

 

No one knows I am photographing the world waking up.

No one senses that I am as busy as a bee collecting chive dust.

 

                                                                                                           

 

 

 

 

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Spring - To Me

I Was Designed...

Fruits, Veggies, and Bruchetta, OH MY!

 

 

 

The excitingly warm spring weather here in the north east really coaxes my stomach toward a summer palette. Dreams of market bags filled with farm grown fruits and veggies makes my heart smile with delight. Spring and summer are obviously the best time to eat your heart out on things that grow by root. Until the near future when I will be able to tip toe through the market, tote over my shoulder, I will start to crave things like farm fresh produce and recipes like bruchetta.

A few days ago I carried an abundant armful of tomatoes, basil, garlic, and other ingredients out into the warm sunshine where I chopped, diced, and danced while doing so. Good tunes, good sun, and good company makes the world go round. Feeding what you made to the ones you love is a whole 'nother pleasure entirely!

 

 

 

Thankfully cutting onions outside kept them from stinging my eyes, another plus to cooking outside! I loathe cutting onions. Onions and I have only recently become friends. My whole life I have shunned them from my plate... and still only selectively allow them in dishes that I make or eat. I was a picky eater growing up and still have my moments, but allowing myself to at least try something and not turn my nose up at it has greatly opened up my culinary world. There is so much to taste and enjoy!

 

What are your favorite spring eats?

Pocket Full of Posies

 

Spring has already graced me with such beautiful gifts. My hands were happy and smiling this past weekend when I clasped a soft assemblage of pussy willows and crocus blooms. It's the simple things, like realizing the honey bees are  awake and grazing over each blossom that sends my heart a flutter. That adrenaline rush that rides up the center of my chest cavity.

 

Spring has me twitterpated! How about you?

 

 

First Hike of the Season!

 

 

Fair weather, warm sun, and a Sunday happened all at once yesterday. It was a recipe for adventure and the chance to breath in the damp scent of earth and snow. Spring has started, clocks have been changed, and the sun is allowed to stay up past it's curfew. I'm here. Right here. I'm waving a flag that says "WELCOME" and putting out my thoughts of sandals into the universe. Soon it will come, and I am ready. We all are, aren't we?

It wasn't a terribly long winter. We did receive more snow than we have in many years prior but I enjoyed it. Winter is snow. If it's going to be cold and bitter, in my book it might as well let out some pretty white flakes. There comes a time though, somewhere between New Year's day and now that I grow inpatient with the storms. This year I am thankful for March coming in like a lion, because now I can look forward to it slipping out like a lamb.

Our first hike found us on a portion of the Appalachian trail. With all the snow melted at home we expected it to be the same only fifteen minutes away... but to our surprise it wasn't. More than 6 inches remained on the path. We were prepared though with warm layers and snow boots. The snow was soft and slushy where the trail had been flattened. It took on a slightly yellow hue from the rotting autumn leaves below. I thought about how painters usually use variations of blue to add shade while painting snow... but it's not blue in the shadows at all. The true color presents itself in shades of grey and a grey toned lavendar (artistic mental note). Truly lovely it is.

 

 

The trees that held their pale yellow butter colored leaves all winter shivered in the light breeze. Each little leaf shook like it had been set a vibrate. I told everyone to stand still, be silent, and listen. The sound that presented itself was that of a mexican maraca. Sort of like rice in a tube being softly flustered.

Nature's music.

 

 

Over a small man-made foot bridge ahead we were bestowed a beautiful sight...

 

 

The trail/woods were quiet except for the ten minute stint when my almost three year old son decided he wanted me, and cried for me from the hiking pack upon daddy's back. A little reassurance that I would hold him soon, daddy playfully teasing him with a stuffed cat, and we were back on track. The snow was perfect packing snow from the temperature lifting. I thought about if we had prepared a little more (gloves) we could of built a snowman right on the trail to greet other hikers on their own adventurous journey. Food for thought in plans for next year.

Signs of spring could not only be felt... but also seen, even with the 8-12 inches of snow on the forest floor. Greening moss, last years fern and rhododendron bushes were conjointly brightening.

 

This was a short hike to start us off. Many more hiking experiences are on the horizon. Between mountain, hill, and tree trunk we will take nothing but photos and leave in return, nothing but footprints. We are ready... or rather my husband and I are. The kids will warm up as we move along. The complaints of "my legs are tired" and "are we done yet?" will replaced with "where are we going to go today? and "it's hot, will there be waterfalls to go into?". This is the stuff families are made of. The stuff our family is made of. Activities unique to you, us, each other. We are an outdoors family. We crave wild open spaces and gifts from nature to feast our eyes upon.

Life is right outside your door and I want my children to always realize that.

 

 

New to Shop and New Work

 

Yesterday found me scanning, perfecting, and listing a bunch of new work in my Etsy shop! Not to mention (okay I'm mentioning), that I moved a few older pieces into a sale section. I would love to keep them, but I would love even more for them to be enjoyed in someones home.

So take a trip on over to my shop and take a look at all of the new art I have been creating. I have really been working whole heartidly. I feel like I am really coming into myself, and hope it shows in the new work. Thank you and much artistic love! Here is just one of the new pieces available in my shop.

Watermark does not appear on actual piece.

 

"It was Written"

8x8

Watercolor, gel pen, ink, and pencil

(Oh! and LOVE)

 

 

 

Once an original sells I will then offer the image as prints.

Enjoy your Sunday and see you tomorrow!

 

Paintingbliss Etsy Shop

 

Love thy Home in a Thrifted Way

 

All this newly found happiness has me putting energy into all sorts of places I didn't realize I had checked out of. Like decorating our home! It has been so long since I took pride in decorating our love nest, and I missed it so much! The other day I did some antique/vintage shopping, found some lovely things I wanted to share with you today!

 

(Bright yellow Pineapple motif crocheted doily in a large size, now a front door curtain - Thrifted  $6)

 

(Hand embroidered pillow cover $1!!! All ready to slip a pillow in)

 

I think some folks (not all of course), hold back on how they want to decorate. Perhaps they feel that homes are supposed to be decorated a "certain way", or that they must be nice, neat, and presentable. Well... yes, and no! If you want to hang something from the ceiling or put twinkle lights across the bookcase, then why not!? Right? Right! And that's how I'm decorating. If I think something makes me happy, then I'm going to do it. Like... for instance... the top of our book case is a place where I keep candles and our incense... it's also where I let vintage dinosaurs roam! They have to be kept up high because when they get down they chase people and try and bite their ankles! Naughty reptiles!

 

 

 

 

Trippin' at the thrift shop (cue the song) found me with an armful of vintage scarves. A little hum hum on  my sewing machine and suddenly I have a curtain that would make Peir 1 Imports wet their pants! A pleasant reward was when I hung it up, the heat ran, and the curtain undulated in beautiful and flowing ways.

Or perhaps their is a ghost in the house and it's trying to put on the curtain as a dress?

 

 

(These two scarves - Thrifted - $5)

 

 

I have always admired crochet buntings, knew I could make them, but never did. Why? Laziness... hectic day to day living... I don't know... but I made one last weekend and it is one of the newest additions to our home that brings me the most joy. It brings me the most joy because it's something I didn't allow myself to make... or rather depression didn't. Well screw you depression, I have an army of pills and a good therapist now that trump your efforts ten fold!

 

 

 

 

Some of my left over silk scarves became pillow covers. With just turning them around into the diamond shape position, laying the pillow on top, and meeting the corners together in a knot... it's a no sew improvement that needs little effort for achievement! Not to mention they are silky soft and extremely lush to lay with.

 

 

 

(Thrifted scarf $3 - Pillow form $10 - Final Cost $13 for custom pillow! Plus it only took 2 minutes to make)

 

Next I'm thinking about hanging things from the ceiling in spots that just seem to scream for it. Like above our bookcase... it's caddy corner and so space is a lost. When I look at it I see that it needs pretty things on string I think... Here is an idea that I found on Pinterest. You can click on the picture and make some for yourself if you like. They are made of post it notes!

 

 

 

 

Love yourself, love the things that make you happy, love the space you live in!

 

 

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In Which I Realize I Like Me

 

 

 

I had this realization the other day, and I think it's a biggie...

I like me

Me, myself, and I are seeing eye to eye for the first time ever!

We are spending a lot of time getting to know eachother.  It feels like I have just met myself... really met that is... and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say we really "click".  I look in the mirror now and say "hey, you're cute... and really awesome" instead of "what's wrong with you? Go on with yourself". I'm flirting with me. Taking care of me. I'm nurturing all things that make me happy.

It's amazing what a good therapist, some good medication, and the right direction can do for you. That's right, I said THERAPIST and MEDICATION. They're awesome, both of them!

I think a lot of people go through their days either hiding that they are suffering mentally, that they are on medication not wanting anyone to know, or that they really don't like themselves truly when they say that they do.

There is no shame in taking medications to maintain your sanity.

There is no shame in therapy.

If the end result is LOVING yourself whole heartedly... and liking who you are as a person, then if you ask me it's a win win situation.

There is no shame in having depression or anxiety or anything else for that matter. It's just as medical as heart disease or diabetes. Would you leave those untreated?? NO! So love yourself no matter what your flaws. It's been a long battle for me that I finally feel like I'm throwing a lasso around. Everyone deserves happiness... true happiness. I didn't think it was possible, the stuff of fairy tales... but I assure you that it is.

 

 

 

 

I'm smiling more, and for no reason at all a lot of the time. I've even gone as far as to say the words "I feel happy" out loud... even when I worry saying it out loud will jinx me!

  So yeah, I like me and I think I'll take me out for coffee. No... wait, not coffee - Chocolate. Because I know that I like chocolate and giving myself something I love only proves to myself that I am acknowledging my needs and truly listening to what I have to say.

But I'll probably want coffee too... so coffee and chocolate it is.

 

My Week Through The Eyes of Instagram 2/10 - 1/17

 

This past week brought a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a spring-like day, and lots of artwork. Every single morning is spent not on the computer but with my watercolors, coffee, and other assorted art materials. The cat and I fight over my paint water, I dip my brush into the water just past his face as he slurps up what he thinks is deliciousness. Silly cat! Painting every single day is doing wonders for my skill. With each piece I see improvement where I thought there was no improvement before. Sounds a little conceited I think, for an artist is always improving and growing. I'm in love with my new work and soon the Etsy shop will be filled with a plethora of new pieces.

 

Like my photographs? Follow me via @Paintingbliss on Instagram

Thank you :)

A Nest Full of Reflection

 

 

I'm nesting.

No! Not like that! Goodness no, that won't ever happen again! But, yes... I have been creating nests.

It's amazing how much extra time you have when you give social networks a break. You almost have that "what do I do with myself?" feeling. Well? What did you do before all that computering? The really important things! It's been so easy for me to fill this time with artwork. I need this time, for life to settle in and settle out. I require peace now more than ever before. There is peace in my work.

I brew the morning "love" coffee, pouring the husband's cup first, then my own. Our dining room table finds us together, working on the things we each like. It's our time, weekend time, treasured time. We don't trade it for anything, and when we have to we stomp around like two year olds.

I squeeze watercolors onto my new white palette. I think about how they start out as petite and organized lumps but will dilute out into a hundred self made hues. I name the colors one by one to the on watching children. They know not that watching occurs without fingers so at least one ends up with a red, blue, or sap green finger. They are reminded, slightly scolded, then giggles follow.

This is what art is. What it should be. It is honest and non-pressured. My art is evolving. I am in a metamorphasis and I feel like a cocoon - twitching... slightly moving and wiggling in anticipation for something to come. Hormones come at 16, confidence comes at 20, rebellion/discovery/and self love comes at 30.

This is time quality spent with my paints and brushes. In these coffee moments I catch the husband watching me through my peripheral. I act like I don't notice, then offer a smile.

The nests come forth, first one then two... before I know it I have a dozen on the table that I swap between. Each one tells me what it wants, what it needs, and I obey... Gladly and willingly obey. In this time of stripping down to the essentials I find me.

Nests bring forth thoughts of safety, comfort, and needs fulfilled. These works in progress are coming together in beautiful ways. I catch myself looking at them between painting sessions... proud and happy with my efforts.

 

 

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